Phrase by 'Jimmy Kimmel'

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I like a real beach. A crowded one, you know? People, towels, umbrellas. I hate those little private strips of sand you see up in Malibu.

Author: Jimmy Kimmel - American Celebrity
  You , People , Beach , Hate


It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up.

Author: Jimmy Kimmel - American Celebrity
  Me , School , High School , Funny


I'm a terrible golfer.

Author: Jimmy Kimmel - American Celebrity
  Terrible , Golfer


Almost every week, someone's mad at me.

Author: Jimmy Kimmel - American Celebrity
  Me , Someone , Week , Mad


I only get unusual ailments.

Author: Jimmy Kimmel - American Celebrity
  Only , Get , Unusual


I have like fifteen televisions in my house.

Author: Jimmy Kimmel - American Celebrity
  Like , House , Fifteen


There's an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they're mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in a lodge that they've built to look like a temple. It's just a bunch of guys trying to get away from their wives.

Author: Jimmy Kimmel - American Celebrity
  Look , Reality , Drunk , Temple


That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't.

Author: Jimmy Kimmel - American Celebrity
  Always , Think , Funny , Boss


My aunt and uncle are clearly civilians.

Author: Jimmy Kimmel - American Celebrity
  Uncle , Aunt , Clearly , Civilians


I can't be as flip as I once was.

Author: Jimmy Kimmel - American Celebrity
  Once , Flip


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