Phrase by 'Demetri Martin'
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Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.
Author: Demetri Martin - American ComedianMe , Down , Walk , Laugh
A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.'
Author: Demetri Martin - American ComedianMe , People , Never , Mind
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'
Author: Demetri Martin - American ComedianYou , Go , Funny , Puzzle
Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologize.' Except at a funeral.
Author: Demetri Martin - American ComedianSaying , Apologize , Sorry , Funeral
If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
Author: Demetri Martin - American ComedianTime , Down , Building , Riding
I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'
Author: Demetri Martin - American ComedianYou , Your , I Am , Win
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