Phrase by 'Dave Attell'
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Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!
Author: Dave Attell - American ComedianYou , People , School , Drunk
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.
Author: Dave Attell - American ComedianYou , Know , Chicken , Fish
I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing.
Author: Dave Attell - American ComedianDoing , Going , Anything , Comedy
You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.
Author: Dave Attell - American ComedianYou , Men , Women , Fire
Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.
Author: Dave Attell - American ComedianYou , People , Way , Matter
I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that.
Author: Dave Attell - American ComedianThink , Like , Celebrity , Star
My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I could do comedy. But I knew I hated the day jobs.
Author: Dave Attell - American ComedianDay , Think , Bad , Confidence
I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.
Author: Dave Attell - American ComedianWriting , Tell , Jokes , Joke
I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.
Author: Dave Attell - American ComedianLife , Me , My Life , Imagination
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