Phrase by 'Whitney Cummings'

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I am excited to show people how, when you get older, you get deeper, you get more raw, you get more honest, and you stop pretending to be the person you think people want you to be. I stopped worrying about what people wanted me to say and just sort of dug deep into my personal arsenal of my mistakes and shameful thoughts.

Author: Whitney Cummings - American Comedian
  You , Me , I Am , Thoughts


I was joking the other day about how my real life feels like a TV show, and my TV life feels real - because, to be on Thursday nights on NBC, which is what I grew up with, has been such a big part of inspiring me. To be part of that tradition is really completely surreal, and I'm so grateful.

Author: Whitney Cummings - American Comedian
  Life , Me , Day , Tradition


I feel like, in a lot of shows where the woman is in charge, the woman is this ball buster and the guy is sort of weak and spineless. And that's never been my experience in a relationship. I think it's much more interesting that the guy is the boss. And there are stakes.

Author: Whitney Cummings - American Comedian
  Experience , Woman , Relationship , Boss


I don't think that women necessarily always write like women. I was a writer on the 'Comedy Central Roasts' for a while, and I always wrote the jokes that people assumed the men would write.

Author: Whitney Cummings - American Comedian
  People , Think , Men , Women


I'm the one who's dating the craft-service guy instead of the producer. Plus, if a producer is going to date a hot young thing, I'm probably not the first person on their list - the weird, quirky, funny girl.

Author: Whitney Cummings - American Comedian
  Girl , Hot , Funny , Dating


I did some pretty embarrassing modeling, like catalogs and QVC. I know there's probably a stereotype where all pretty girls think they're unattractive, but modeling is the worst thing for your self-esteem, because you're never pretty enough, you're never thin enough.

Author: Whitney Cummings - American Comedian
  You , Know , Think , Modeling


I guess the verdict is in - I am not a sociopath. It's not effective or productive not to be nice. It would undermine the goals I want to achieve on any given day.

Author: Whitney Cummings - American Comedian
  Goals , Day , I Am , Nice


I remember my agent at ICM at the beginning of my career telling me that I wasn't pretty enough, that I was always going to be a quirky sidekick. And he was an ogre of a man. He should have been carrying a torch. If he was in a bar, he couldn't have come near me, and then he was deciding my fate.

Author: Whitney Cummings - American Comedian
  Me , Beginning , Man , Remember


I don't want to look at myself - ever. All I see is that my face is a problem. It's asymmetrical. I get terrible bags under my eyes.

Author: Whitney Cummings - American Comedian
  Myself , Look , Eyes , Face


I'm kind of emotionally dyslexic, and when I feel vulnerable or nervous, I laugh.

Author: Whitney Cummings - American Comedian
  Feel , Laugh , Nervous , Dyslexic


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