Phrase by 'Tim Vine'

Warning: We collect thousands of phrases from different public resources. We are not responsible for any incorrect content or inaccurately information related to the phrases we collect on our website. Famous phrases, proverbs, short phrases, phrases from kids. Phrases about friendship, love, cinema, family, humor, motivation, mindfullness, improvement, life and much more. Our only goal is to offer you these phrases as an inspiration so that you can make unique dedications, express your thoughts and emotions or share on your social networks. Enjoy our content.

Velcro: what a rip-off.

Author: Tim Vine - British Comedian
Rip-Off , Velcro

I went out on a date with Simile. I don't know what I metaphor.

Author: Tim Vine - British Comedian
Know , Out , Date , Metaphor

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

Author: Tim Vine - British Comedian
You , Me , Look , Car

So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'

Author: Tim Vine - British Comedian
You , Home , Voice , Phone

So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'

Author: Tim Vine - British Comedian
You , Up , Said , Swimming

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

Author: Tim Vine - British Comedian
You , Want , House , Building

I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.

Author: Tim Vine - British Comedian
Book , History , Reading , Down

Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds.

Author: Tim Vine - British Comedian

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

Author: Tim Vine - British Comedian
You , See , Night , Hunting

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.

Author: Tim Vine - British Comedian
Me , Red , Restaurant , Duck