Phrase by 'Fred Allen'

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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Author: Fred Allen - American Comedian


A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.

Author: Fred Allen - American Comedian
  People , Nothing , Done , Together


Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Author: Fred Allen - American Comedian
  Done , Television , Technology , Well Done


A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

Author: Fred Allen - American Comedian
  Group , Committee , Unnecessary , Unwilling


I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

Author: Fred Allen - American Comedian
  Own , Amazing , My Own , Play


Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

Author: Fred Allen - American Comedian
  Failure , Church , Wild , Sunday


The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

Author: Fred Allen - American Comedian
  First , Thing , Paris , Taxi


Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Author: Fred Allen - American Comedian
  Good , Man , Hanging , Quoted


A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.

Author: Fred Allen - American Comedian
  People , Nothing , Group , Meet


A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Author: Fred Allen - American Comedian
  Life , Person , Dark , Glasses


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