Phrase by 'Emo Philips'
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I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
Author: Emo Philips - American ComedianDoor , Friend , Funny , Kid
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Author: Emo Philips - American ComedianI got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor with your face.' I said, 'You'll be sorry.' He said, 'Oh, yeah? Why?' I said, 'Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.'
Author: Emo Philips - American ComedianYou , Time , Fight , Face
You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.
Author: Emo Philips - American ComedianYou , Know , Back , Hate
People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi.
Author: Emo Philips - American ComedianYou , Me , People , Always
He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.
Author: Emo Philips - American ComedianMe , Never , Smile , Disaster
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