Phrase by 'Elayne Boosler'
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I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianHistory , Car , Bike , Thankful
My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianLife , You , Dog , Fashion
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianLong , Matter , Door , Funny
When I played the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas on New Year's Eve, I got to bring Wiley, my 85-pound black lab. He's responsible for my favorite New Year's memory of all: At the end of the show, he ran onstage and then out across all the tables in the showroom, sending champagne glasses and gamblers flying.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianNew , Black , Memory , Glasses
My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of our congress, to the point that guns are actually the only unregulated consumer product in America. Think about that. It's stunning.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianThink , America , Easy , Congress
Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianThan , Congress , Dogs , Pigs
You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianYou , Your , Know , Hunting
Designers don't put out the same sweater every year. They just keep creating.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianJust , Year , Creating , Sweater
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianYou , Man , Woman , Walking
We have wild animals in zoos, yet people rarely meet their 'food' face to face.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianPeople , Food , Face , Meet
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