Phrase by 'Elayne Boosler'
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When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianUp , Morals , Again , Sun
The message of great art is to disturb.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianGreat , Art , Message , Disturb
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianMom , Good , Against , Born
Turkeys know their names, come when you call, and are totally affectionate. They're better than teenagers.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianYou , Know , Better , Come
I never minded flying cheap. I always said to myself, 'Taking this flight saves enough money to rescue four dogs, or six cats, or will let me make a difference to the one woman saving chimps in Cameroon.'
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianMe , Myself , Money , Woman
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianThinking , Men , Women , Shopping
Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast. I say, 'I don't have these recipes.'
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianMorning , Place , Breakfast , Wake Up
For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of my act straight from the newspaper.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianMe , Newspaper , Human , Comedy
Horse racing is waning in popularity.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianRacing , Horse , Popularity , Horse Racing
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.
Author: Elayne Boosler - American ComedianMe , People , Think , Funny
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