Phrase by 'Steven Wright'
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I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.
Author: Steven Wright - American ComedianLive , End , Dead , Street
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Author: Steven Wright - American ComedianEverywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Author: Steven Wright - American ComedianHumor , You , Time , Walking
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
Author: Steven Wright - American ComedianRest , Too , Drown , Swimmer
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
Author: Steven Wright - American ComedianYou , Space , Light , Speed
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
Author: Steven Wright - American ComedianMe , Old , Night , Hotel
Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
Author: Steven Wright - American ComedianMe , Just , Here , Weird
I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.
Author: Steven Wright - American ComedianPeople , Way , Hat , Reflection
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
Author: Steven Wright - American ComedianMe , Grow , Ocean , Wonder
I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.
Author: Steven Wright - American ComedianTwo , Reading , Bible , Glasses
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