Phrase by 'Rodney Dangerfield'

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American Comedian
  Tough , Marriage , Wife , Dog


When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American Comedian
  Always , Parents , Found , Kid


I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American Comedian
  Me , Yellow , Wear , Teeth


Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American Comedian
  Dog , Pet , Egypt , Room


When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American Comedian


I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American Comedian
  Time , Drink , Too Much , Last


On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American Comedian
  Me , Looking , Parents , Halloween


My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American Comedian
  Me , Never , Mother , Friend


I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American Comedian


I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American Comedian
  Me , Parents , Toys , Bath


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