Phrase by 'Rodney Dangerfield'
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianTough , Marriage , Wife , Dog
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianAlways , Parents , Found , Kid
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianMe , Yellow , Wear , Teeth
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianDog , Pet , Egypt , Room
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianI drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianTime , Drink , Too Much , Last
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianMe , Looking , Parents , Halloween
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianMe , Never , Mother , Friend
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianI could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianMe , Parents , Toys , Bath
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