Phrase by 'Les Dawson'
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I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianThe way prices are rising, the good old days are last week.
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianGood , Way , Old , Good Old Days
My mother-in-law said, 'One day I will dance on your grave.' I said 'I hope you do; I will be buried at sea.'
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianDay , Dance , Hope , Sea
Mind you, I've always been musical... Mother used to sit me on her knee and I'd whisper, 'Mummy, Mummy, sing me a lullaby do,' and she'd say: 'Certainly my angel, my wee bundle of happiness, hold my beer while I fetch me banjo.'
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianYou , Me , Mother , Happiness
I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault - it's called breathing.
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianPretty , She , Saying , Mother-In-Law
The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianFamily , Mother-In-Law , Centre
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked.
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianNever , Well , Down , Mother-In-Law
I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianTeacher , School , Friend , Lion
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianLooks , Blind , Smiles , Mother-In-Law
I need to give affection and love, because without that, I wither. I need to give that love to someone. Without that, I'm rudderless.
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianLove , Need , Someone , Affection
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