Phrase by 'Joan Rivers'

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Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.

Author: Joan Rivers - American Comedian
  History , Today , Wisdom , God


I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.

Author: Joan Rivers - American Comedian
  Life , You , Good , Enjoy Life


Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny. Next. Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.

Author: Joan Rivers - American Comedian
  Life , Down , Enjoy , Funny


Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I'm being funny, but I'm reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we're going down the tube.

Author: Joan Rivers - American Comedian
  Life , You , Funny , Life Is Hard


I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

Author: Joan Rivers - American Comedian
  Home , Hell , House , Mother-In-Law


I'm in nobody's circle, I've always been an outsider.

Author: Joan Rivers - American Comedian
  Always , Nobody , Circle , Outsider


I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

Author: Joan Rivers - American Comedian
  Will , Body , Plastic , Die


I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

Author: Joan Rivers - American Comedian
  You , Start , Hate , Funny


I never dwell on what happened. You can't change it. Move forward. Don't waste your energy on being angry at something that somebody did six months ago or a year ago. It's over. Done. Move forward.

Author: Joan Rivers - American Comedian
  You , Energy , Angry , Change


I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

Author: Joan Rivers - American Comedian
  Everyone , Thinking , Saying , Else


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