Phrase by 'Phyllis Diller'
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What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianDay , Looking , Job , Christmas
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianWant , Children , Things , Funny
You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianYou , Know , Someone , Shoes
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianNever , Women , Football , Outfit
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianYour , Growing Up , House , Walk
I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianYears , Behind , Eighteen , Ironing
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianChildren , Teacher , Down , Walk
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianThree , Fresh , Lady , Grass
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